it wasn't right at all.


tears seems to fail me.so much pain inside, yet the inability to let go is tormenting.when tears started to fall,it's come with no ending.

why does it hurt so much when love is supposed to be wonderful and glorious? Is it called love?the fear of rejection,the fear of being left alone.why does it haunt me now? why am i feeling so insecure?

what is called communication if everything is nothing but just a facade?just one side giving and giving withou asking for anything in return? why is it when tears comes it's so hard to stop flowing from your eyes?the end has not even came,yet, i fear the worse.i can't imagine a life without you,your warmth, your touch and your voice.where are you?

you shouldn't have came back.you should have just went away and never came back. I shouldn't have ever let you back.i'm afraid of the hurt and pain i'd go through.facing it alone doesnt make me stronger.it scared me.it really does.

part of me wants to just in the rain,drown my sorrows.pretending to be the person im not. trying to stay happy cause you hate me crying.doing everything in my own will not let you go,i'm too tired.i afraid and i'm insecure.why am i feeling this way?words seems to fail me.always.it's normal isn't it.faintly the feeling is so familiar.rejection,pain,unhappiness,depression.it's coming back.oh please take it away.wash it away in the rain.i'm not trying to be emotional but i just need to whine.that's all.

merry X'mas to ALL~



yes,now i complaining tired yet still went to town with nes.actually wanted to buy my stuff but ended up spending on the food.ok,i'm waiting for my 120 bucks and my pay which i'll be getting next sun.for the past 48 hrs i only manage to slept 6 hours.friday was hell freaking tired because of the mid night sales.it's liek closing at 1 am plus.my hand is numb of folding those clothes.went for supper with xl and md at chong pang.craps lots of rubbish and the clock strike 3 am.Ha,md will be transfering to suntec on mon,nobody to crap with me anymore.=(.after which reach home,take a bath and wraps all the presenties for my darlings.Ha, the best present wrapping should goes to md present cause of the cardboard that i use to wrap his. HA, hope he don't mind that i played such a stupid joke on him.manage to sleep at 6 am and woke up 8 am to work.moody wasn't that good at all when i reach my work place.in fact had to see that brent face made me boiled.but my boy came=).seeing his little sweet smile makes my day.he's my charger for my body battery.i love you Mr sia.Ha

stuck at town for count down becos i'm working,went to look for my bro and friends.everyone is spraying at one another like nobody business,including me,was being spray too.in the end my whole body is damn sticky.seriously the next christmas i swear i'll not celebrate in town.it's just not for me.i not that kind of party type.give me a quiet place,had some drink.that's it~ end of my enjoyment.HA.went to have supper with my darlings.home is so quiet now,without my bros playing,they went to genting with my parents.ok i miss lily,din really get to talk to her for the past 3 week.miss the bitchy session.HA,anyway tml will be another off day for me,yes i'm going to watch kingkong.everyone is saying that the show is touching.let's shall see tml=).

ok, went down to look for my boy and wish him merry christmas.HA,he's working so dun realli talk much to him and now i'm missing him again.alrighty, stop my whinning and continue my beauty sleep~.

you make the impossible become possible.


Mr sia,My LOVE.

advance merry christmas and a happy new year to EVERYONE~.


arlighty,i'm tired.went to supper at yishun with md,Ha,finally pass my boy his present.brought him a t-shirt,spend a few hours in the middle of the night rushing that so called ''display'' .hope he doesnt laugh about it=).anyway will be working afternoon shift today until 12am.MIDNIGHT sales is here again.so please peeps make your way down to wisma fox. buy the second piece at 50 %. seem like everyone is transfering out from wisma.md will be going to suntec this coming mon while xl will be going either next month or after christmas.i was wondering should i continue working?no fun working while md,roger or xl is in.no way will i ever put the same shift as brent man. he's too talkative!.

meanwhile,i was thinking about midnight sales,it will be another tsunami turn over again.had to endure the heat of the spotlight.can't take it man.

shall end here.


smile cause he's smiling=).

tired.
i need some rest.


yes,i'm tired.having high fever on sunday night make my whole night like shit.worst day of my life man,even med also won't help.now, my hand got rashes.damn it~,went to see doctor and got some apply lotion.i'm feeling so terrible and sick but when my phone started to beep~,i knew it's him,his sweet little msg just make me think that he's with me all the time=).i need to lodge a complain against my shop.it's so bloody warm that everybody is so frastuated about it.can't the company just do something about it?.every customer who come in gave the same reaction "WOW SO WARM HERE''.what can i reply? because of the spotlight?,sick and tired of telling every customer about it.even xiaoli is bloody pissed off and hope to transfer to suntec.

ytd's was bloody pissed off by brent.can't he just called and not shout at my name.damn it~in fact i don't really like to talk to him.everytime he try to open a conversation with me, i just give him a look and that's it.end of it~,even xiaoli also noticed that he loves talking to me?how i wish i could tell him to talk less to me.nvm,xiaoli lost her thing in the shop.i wonder who's that bloody idiot who did this?ok,shall stop my whinning.anyway, christmas is coming.still had to work on eve.HA,wondering who will buy me present?.let's shall see?.one good new is that i'm going for a holiday in next feb.brought my winter clothes.looking forward to it.by than after getting back my result, will be heading to hk with nes.Ha,saving lot's of money now and shop there till we drop.cool~,later still got work 3pm to closing.tml's full shift.WT~,our shop is lacking of people which make lyn wanted to transter some stuff from fana.

ok,went to visit my grandma to give her some clothes which my mum brought.everytime i see her,i got the urge to hug her and tell her everything is fine.she's already like reaching 80 and still going strong for her.the way i looked into her eye,i nearly wanted to tear.how i wish i could bring her to tour and visit her hometown,i knew she is longing to.i working hard and earn some money to bring her to some day,maybe next year?seeing her in this state really broke my heart.i love her=).nobody will understand what she's going through now, the suffering she had all this year kept in silent all the time.not even a complain to her children.i'm not trying to be emotional but this is what i'm feeling inside of me=).i love you all.


in fact, we walk down hand in hand.

sleepy mood.
i want an OSIM.


great,just came back from ttsh,do a prick skin test,IT's painful.waited very long for that test,it was damn itch and you can't scretch it,it was hell terrible for me.i think i'll not have another test again.now my skin had many blood spot.Ha anyway mum fetch me and accompany me throughout the whole test.three cheerss to MUM!.ok,last night was fun,went to newton circle for our supper with xl,pris,roger and june.it was a farewell party for roger cause today will be his last day in FAWA.ouh,i'm gonna miss his laughter and jokes.without him in faWA, no more fun=(.went home with xiaoli cause she stay near by me.that's great k HA! nvm, will visit him in his home town HA cos he promise to be my free tour guide =).ytd's was having serious headache and just pop in 4 tablets.seriously,if i can i wanna lodge a complain about my store cause it's bloody warm.customer had been telling us HOT is our shop is, why no aircon,i just wish to reply that anything please refer to the management.HA but of course i can't, CUSTOMER SERVICE IS VERY IMPORTANT IN FAWA.sales not that good,our msp must be good.gonna aim for top 3 in the ranking HA.anyway not too sure i wanna work till when. roger is been transfer to suntec while xl might be transfer after christmas.for pris, she only work till end of dec.left only brent.june,mingdi and me.SAD=(.

ok,my bro is very anxious to see pris,wondering should i intro to him? HA~,alrighty,will be having a nap very soon later cause will be working from 6 to midnight.IT'S SALE TIMe,buy the second piece at 50% discount!,peeps, please make your way down to FOX WISMA bASEMENT 1. just walk straight from ORCHARD MRT and you will see Fmen and Fwoman!,please come and support our shop~,hahaha,yes,ytd's receieve a very sweet msg from my BOY,Ha, make me fly high~,it was really sweet of him to msg me while working.i'm floating away very soon=).i love you=).

anyway i brought my winter clothes in u2 which cost me a few hundreds.Ha,preparing for myself for next year.will be going out station with my aunts.hopefully to somewhere far from singapore.i desperately need a holiday to relax myself.anyway to whoever who saw this post.if you wanna buy christmas present for me,i hope it will be a OSIM. hours of standing and climbing the stair will make my leg gone case.Has.i'll surely be very please.HA. so anyone kind enough to buy me an OSIM.thanks in advance=).



the tender care of his make my day=).

what a B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L day for me=).
simply love the sun.


oh great,was a off day for me.went to sun-basking with my dearie nes,Ha,suppose to meet 10 plus but ended up one hr later cos i OVERSLEPT.hA~,first time that nes is the one calling me.went to hf for lunch than straight to sentosa.the sun rawk,simply HOT.Ha,alrighty,took lots of pics with her.headed down to bugis to find what i wanted,sadly to say,i can't find it=(.wasted my trip,after which went to town for shopping spree again.nes brought a puma bag,it's nice=) and a pair of sandal trekker.OK,dinner at pepper lunch place,Ha,can't say the food really that nice but still manage to pass,nes din eat much cos she can't stand the butter smell,i was just wondering how much ''beanspouts'' they had to fry each day?FOC ? ha,spend too much on last week and this week,will try to save up for christmas=).

not gonna touch my account for the next month cos i getting my pay soon,very soon.mum is kind enough to open up another a/ for me cos she don't want me to touch my posb a/c.scared i over-spend it. ok,i'll save,that's what i promise her.christmas is coming and buying of presenties usually cost me a bomb Ha,ok presentiess will be coming very soon.HAHA,ok i felt like a santas claus every year,giving out present but i ENJOY it.after that CYN is coming and that's mean ANGBAO IS ON THE WAY.ya,very soon 2006 is coming,wondering what's store for me than?

yes,i miss my boy that much,wondering what should i get him on christmas? for his birthday, i already had something in mind? any ideas? feel free to drop a msg for me.haha,anyway things is going smooth,gradually i hope thing will be better,ya tml will be working morning and that mean i had to sleep early~,nvm after my work gonna grab my things in my store cos i'll be getting 50% discount for every item~ HA,don't envy, you'll have your turn=).for me, of cos i already reserve 5 items for myself and the next 5 items is for my family=).Ha,alrighty, will blog soon.


sometime, i wish time could stop.
just only you and me.
the way you look into my eye.
make me felt that nothing i could have other than you.
i don't want any flowers or diamond.
i just want your love.
the love which is pure and sweet.
i love you.

i miss him that much.


ya, i bloody pissed of by someone who actually make me boiled.ytd only left brent me and ade for afternoon shift.it was like hell messy when you see the shop cause of the promotion going on.she can actually stand there like a puppet without serving the customer.brent was like ''WHAT THE".worst still, helen khoo which is our FOx outlet incharge was here to spot check us,saw nobody at the entrence was greeting her and ade who was standing there was folding stuff.i had to rush toward the entrence and greet her,you know what i get a scolding from her.saying "YOU SHOULD KNOW EVERY CUSTOMER WHO COME IN MUST GREET HI WELCOME TO FOX''. i was for no reason i was being scolded.ya i just kept quiet,she even asked my name.luckily brent explain to her,but still she's not convince.shall not talk about it, spoilt my day man,in the end our shop ended closing at around 11 plus,no choice take a cab home.

today is my off day i'm going out with kris,my beloved cousin which i havent met up ages.i miss her laughter and jokes.mum is busy so she won't be joining us that's mean i can't really shop too much cos i still own her 200 bucks,nevermind she will soon forget about it.HE=)alrighty,sometime i feel that a moment of time we can be veri close, but the next min we were like stranger?what's is going on,taking ytd as a example,we just talk for a few min and that's it,he went to bed,maybe because i'm had no mood to talk than,hope thing will be smooth for us,anyway both our working place is near each other so sometime after work we acutally met up=).can't you imagine a simple guy like him can acutally captured my heart and we don't even know how we met and ended up together.he's right,we must take thing slowly cause we don't want to end up hurting each other.it's been a long time since i had the feeling of love,i'll make sure this time it's work.hehe=)NES is like fooling me round and round,hoping me to get into her trapHa,alan is planning a chalet for the bunch of lamers.Ha,hopefully he could get one.

win and sean came to find but guys so sorry, i was in a very bad mood so can't realli entertain yours~SORRY!next time sure customer service sure tip top condition HA!

my boy, indeed sorry ytd's for such a conversation and thanks for your understanding.loving you~


the story has just begin =).




Hi.
he's mine=).
08/12/05



yes,ytd's was a memorable day.he cancel his appointment and accompany me=).that's so sweet of him we're still friend,we are taking thing slowly at a time.we met after work and went to ps for a movie.chicken little,damn funny.i'll give 4 star to that show.every moment that i spend with him ytd was like living in my world of fantasy,i'm veri sure of my feeling now,veri sure.is not infatuation but is the love=).i glad he's had become a part of my life and start a new journey with me. for the past, i'll treat everything as memories.in life we has to give and take.

work is busy nowsday becos of the promotion that has been going on for the next few days.if you got a dbs CREDIT card, you can purchase FOX clothing at a discount of 25%,so pls do make your way to FOX WISMA.tHANKS.today will be afternoon shift for me 2 to 10pm but nevermind tml i OFF,yes going to shop with my mum.=).out of a sudden june become my 2rd darling cos everyime she say i peeping at her?ha,great buddy with her~.Ha, what a ''GREAT' person he is ah?,able to tell me that he don't wanna hurt anyone and rather be alone,in the end,you still choose that girl,am i rite? you think i like you? sorri to say NO,cos i have already given up on you.dont bother telling me anything from on,we are friend, that all.

my bunch of lamers friend wanted to see my boy,HA,can't they just wait?hearing that i like someone,everybody is like ''WHOS THAT GUY WHICH MAKE YOU FALLEN IN LOVE"? friend if you are reading this,pls continue reading : we are still friend, like what i say we take thing slowly,we both agree to give other some time before we commit into this relationship,but don't worry i'll make him MINE=).evil~,will let you see someday~,hA BE PATIENT ALL MY DARLINGS~.oh great,breakfast is here~


will blog soon.

i love you

another working day.
i think i in love?.
you make my day.


Ha,just finish work and headed to hereen to buy something.yeah,hl and zx came to visit my work place.Ha,ok i ask hl to whiten himself cos he's beyond tan,not nice~.3 of us is working in wisma ha.hl in fila while zx in cookies.alrighty,i love the sun when you get to see your prince charming first thing in the morning,went to meet him and off to work.come on'i not dreaming but my fantasy has begin.hA can you imagine a guy who you dont even dare to say hi and out of a sudden we talk alot,that's so wonderful=).ok,work wasn't that fine cause of that extend hours.june and me,we both loves baby that much~,each time we see until those little babies,we just look at each other and smile,that's so cute.

this s dedicate to you=).

remember when i saw you baby
Your looking real cool and sexy
You got me wondering if you saw me maybe
Everything i do has got the change in my mood
I got a new attitude
says up and for me
Cause i was that girl
Standin alone
Watching every move you make
Wishing you would take me home
Because of you
I'm loosing some time
I'm loosing my mind
I've left the little girl behind
Because of you
The woman in me
Is setting you free
Livin out my fantasy
Because of you
Do you thing there was a chance that we could get togater?
Come we can make bliss forever
Ain't no shadow that i'm with whoever
Wondering its time i should be makin my move
Really wanna get you into my grove
Come see theres somthin out the room
Caus i was that girl
Quiet and shy
Scape to say a word to you
Hopin that i would catch your eye

Ha,it was a great day.
his smile=).

just finish work and met with up zm,mus and yixin for a supper.Ha,ok we really craps alot even zm can't stands me.great catching up with them.totally fun~alrighty tml working morning shift so i think i'll complain of tiring,luckily not full-shift.my eyes is closing soon,any time i just can doze off,staring at the com.everyone is worried about the msg which i even dream of it.our target for this month is 250 above.hopefully we can get it cause brent will be treating us to mach if we hit the target HA.that's his promise to us.roger was kinda cute cause he has infested with my laughter,since that whenever he seem me,the smile will be there.sad to say can't request off on christmas.can't even spend my christmas so meaningfully this year.

ya going off to my bed soon.

i love you guys.
miss you lots.

my sweet memories.
i miss milky(my dog).

today will be afternoon shift which is 2 to 10.i'm damn tried.met up with dawn and wendy to go town for a pee,trying our luck to see his present.went over to collect my thing,sadly to say NO i din see him.ytd's work end at 11pm due to the crowd.went home win cin,sales was alright at least uncle sam din condemn us badly instead he still send brent a sms saying that ''well done guys for the sales''.Ha,mum was good as she fetch me home and brought me porridge,seriously i need a OSIM cause my leg's is arching like shit.mum went to malaysia for shopping spree with my aunts,ok i guess she spend quite a lot as i see tones of bags in her room.she brought me a carlo rino bag Ha,looks so cute.

i remember that day when he serve me,the way he look at me,totally cute. Ha,we Finally talk after so many session of eye contact and smiling hA.alrighty,fox will be having a sale on the 16th and 17th which will be extended to 12 am.If you buy the second pierce will be 50% discount and the third pierce for another extra 5% i think.Ha,so please make your way to any fox outlet and grab as much as you can~.if possible come to wisma FOX.THANKS EVERYONE~.i'm very pissed off by someone,i not sure whether she come for just greeting or display there.she only greet when customer come in or go and do not make the move to serve the customer.i'm glad i not the same shift as her cause she moving to atrim soon.xiao li and brent also feel like vomiting blood everytime they saw her standing infront of the desk doing nothing.

i'm feeling a bit hungry now cause i only ate a meal ytd.seriously continue working like this i def will slim down a few weight.Ha.alrighty,stop my whinning and blog soon whenever i'm free.I MISS EVERYONE.there something puzzled in my mind,should i really let go this time?,i don't know.i'm just confused,let time lead the way.


leaving you was the toughest thing i had to do.
i wish that's not the only choice.
i'll treasure those memories you gave me.
if we are meant to be together,we'll meet again.
i promise.
i miss you.
good-bye.

sweet day.
i love you.

after working for the whole glorious ytd, it's time to rest today.first day of december which make me realise christmas is coming. A year had just pass so quickly without letting you know,imagine i finally finish the seconday school life journey and moving onto another step futher,the happy memories are still linger,wondering what's is store for me in the next 2006.

alrighty,thou today is my rest day but still i heading down to town to meet nes.she's going for a highlight than after which shopping spree for us.since all of us will be working so hopefull once a work we'll do some catching up,miss her lots.HA!,working life is fun when you had a bunch of lamers in there.having people like xiaoli,june,roger,pris and mingdi was fun to work with.
cin will be working in ps.=)at least there somebody working in fox with me ha!,it's so pathetic when you had to eat lunch alone,can't imagine that i survive ytd's.sad to say,sometime i do want someone to be there for me,encouraging me but this seems bleak,even as a friend i'm contented.wondering when will my prince charming coming?.yet again i saw him on the same mrt heading to work.HA~,can't believe i see him 3 days in a row.fATE ah?suppose to wake up late buy my mum came knocking on my door, telling me to help her do some stuff.spoil my wonderful dream~ha,at least she gave me money to spend today or else i'm really broke.ok,due to the carelessness of me,i broke a glass today and in fact i still accidently step on it and my toe bleed.

ok,going to something meaningful which is doing house work,cos mum had been again nagging that i must at least do some when i'm free.my maid is flying off this sat which make me the stand-by maid for the next 3 weeks.24 hr workerholic girl.dad will be flying too to china for business trip.recieve a wonderful news from my aunt that clement score 266 for psle.WOW.THAT'S GREAT~he's gonna applied for RI,cool ah.i still remember that time when i stayed at my grandma house and clement was there too.he's the best buddy of my life.i'm happy for him for his excellent result,will be visiting him on the next off-day.shall not whine anymore.


Have you ever lived my life?
Spent one minute in my shoes?
If you havent then tell me why
You judge me as you do

jesisme

i'm aging day by day,010888

soccer.| friendss | NUM ff.|sun-tanning.|beachy around.|

shop in paris, tanning in mauritius, climb the great wall of china, rome with my partner, hawaili with my dearies, new-zeland with my family.
next trip- taiwan,japan,bangkok with my darlingss.


NEXT STOPover: USA,orlando.




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